As a coach you know that this is a trap. Some coaches have incredible resumes with enormous won/loss record, placement of players, conference titles, etc., and yet still feel that they are a failure if they haven't won the title. How? It's easy to get caught up thinking that you are judged by what others may be accomplishing at your institution in terms of winning championships for example.
Do you attach your importance to achievement?
You know young coaches are driven with horse blinders on most of the time. Only focused on the win/loss. Believing that if they are winning that the expectation to get that championship will define them and make them feel different. You know how many coaches don't want to talk after a loss, or worse, go out in public after a loss because they believe that others are looking at them and making comments about how they lost the game and should be in the office looking at video to correct that.
This is just being Ego Driven.
Here is a quote that truly helps by Barbara Bush that helps with perspective, "At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child, a friend or a parent."
However, what happens to us, when we read this? Depends on our ego I believe. How does society measure your success as a coach? What's important to you as a coach?
Here is what you probably will end up telling yourselves later in life...I know that your judged by the win/loss column. You are hired and fired by it. But you have to believe that there is something more important than that. Because you will need perspective to help you get over the losses that hurt you to your core. Losing will never become easy. But you can gain some perspective. Your players will appreciate knowing that your focus and energy is driven toward what is important. They will appreciate seeing that there are more important things to you other than just winning. If they feel that winning is the most important thing, they will come to believe that they are only important to you as a coach if they are successful.
I have seen this with all the professional teams that I have had. They only believe that winning and losing is the only thing and for the players many of them are only judged by that as well as many of them have lost their jobs as a result of not winning a particular game.
Imagine what it feels like to have your importance attached to your achievement. Seek perspective.
So how do you seek perspective?
Ask yourself again, how does society measure your success as a coach?
1. Win/loss
2. Championships
3. Rankings
4. Players at the next level
5. Rivalry games
Ask yourself this question. What is important to you? Examples of such: Rank them top 5, think of some, here are a few that you might come up with?
1. Faith
2. Family.
3. Health
4. Character
5. Relationships
Now take these and compare. See if there is a correlation? What's important to you and how society measures your success.
What do you notice?
So the lesson is this. The higher the level you go up and more success you amass, what happens?
The harder you have to fight to keep what's important: IMPORTANT.
John Saintignon
