All of us having something that is missing from our lives. We think that if we achieve the hole will be filled up and we will feel better about ourselves. We think people will look at us differently, or we are going to get to a level where we feel complete as a person.
But really what happens is the more success you have the more driven you become for the wrong reasons, you become unhappy. Chasing the championship doesn't happen right away, so when you finally do win it all after taking years of work, you might reflect and think that you were looking at it the wrong way.
Achievement brought me for example, to think more about my purpose in life and what I was doing as a coach because once I began to win, it didn't fill the void of what I thought was going to come of it. I thought I was going to feel differently.
You can get to a point of now what enters your mind. You might think of a parade coming for you and really it's just back to getting ready for the next season all of a sudden. You ask yourself, now what?
I read a book on University of North Carolina Soccer Coach, Anson Dorrance, who has won so many national titles, more than 20. I read where after they win a title, a symbol that he gives his players, is a rose. To symbolize that the feeling of winning the title won't last long. Think back to your last achievement? How long did that feeling last?
Sometimes you feel relief instead of joy. I remember coaching under tremendous stress in the Middle East as I took a team that the ownership wanted me to get to the Playoffs, talk about pressure, I had just walked into this job. I didn't have the luxury of training camp, of getting to know players, I was a replacement coach at the end of the year, fixing the problems left by the prior coach who was just fired and trying to get us into the playoffs. I did succeed, but I remember the feeling of happiness for everyone around, but for me was relief. I couldn't enjoy the feeling that I should have been experiencing until the end of the season upon reflection as to what was accomplished.
Sometimes we will tie happiness to our level of achievement. Like getting caught up in winning instead of getting to know our players. Like winning back to back titles. I know that the way to really go about it, is to judge how you did by clearly knowing did you fulfill the potential of your team. But we all know that's not what happens.
We get into comparing. Like when you hear of announcers who say that this player just willed the ball into the basket, refused to lose, there are a number of these lines that all announcers use from time to time. Sounds great, but as a coach and a player listening, you think to yourself, what sometimes I want to win? Sometimes don't? I want to will the basket and refuse to lose as well. That's the worst thing is to hear and start to get into comparisons. You and your team have great drive and passion, but if you don't win the championship it's not a reflection of who you are as a person.
We can get focused on winning and not people. Many times especially if you have been winning, the expectation will be for you to continue to win. If you were number 1 you were supposed to win, if you don't win, you will be criticized for not winning. The classic no win situation. Focus on the development of your players and not on the winning.
You will enjoy the journey as you Pursue Your Passion!
Coach John Saintignon
Coach Saintignon
OC Magic
@stignon
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